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cool date idea 

@schratze 🎵 it's fun to stay at the YYYY-MM-DD 🎵

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I'm in class and the DVM just said she hasn't seen demodex in pets and said it might have been erradicated. Really? Let me relay that to all my patients then.

Good grief.

Today's bad recruiter couldn't be bothered to do the least amount of formatting of their shotgun email.

A trick an old friend suggested to me was to put an emoji in front of my LinkedIn name. He has the flag of his home country. I copied his idea and added one more flag, that of my favorite European Republic.

This recruiter's email starts with "Hi emoji emoji Vincent". When I see that, it guarantees that I will not take any heed of the rest of the email.

i only regret that i have but one gender to give for my country

homosexuals? in my timeline? more likely than you'd think

@finn "I looked up 'bork' in Merriam Webster and the Oxford English Dictionary and it wasn't there, please clarify"

I found a spherical 6.2-kilogram (14 lb) subcritical mass of plutonium 89 millimetres (3.5 in) in diameter known as the “demon core” in my child’s Halloween candy

"gonna need a source on this one" replies a dumbass to my obvious shitpost

@Louisa @finn "hi uh, sorry, but I'm familiar with the works of Francis Siddon, and not once did they ever cover the causes of ligma"

re: horrid lewd, don't open 

@catswhocode hey babe, are you canonical? Cause I'd love to Snap your picture

unexpectedly wholesome 

@Byte @catswhocode hey babe, you're a keeper because I'm all pining for you

re: horrid lewd, don't open 

@Byte @catswhocode hey babe, I'm all pining for you

re: horrid lewd, don't open 

Hey babe, are you Fedora? Because, YUM,

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re: horrid lewd, don't open 

Hey babe, are you OpenSUSE? Because I really want you to open my zypper

Show thread

horrid lewd, don't open 

Hey babe, are you Gentoo Linux? Because you're about to make my package emerge

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